IT WAS A SET UP!

Guys! It was a set up o!!! Abba set me up WELL! I couldn’t even wait till next Sunday to gist you people this gist.

Hmmm, so I called our housekeeper today as promised. When she answered, I asked her in tones of controlled indignation what happened to my toilet. Her answer? “Nothing Ma”. So I told her it wasn’t flushing and below was her reply

She hasn’t pushed the flush button on my toilet since it went bad because of all the trouble it took to fix, so she uses a bucket from my shower. On Saturday, she noticed water was running into the bowl again, so she turned off the water and left it. Didn’t call me because she didn’t have credit.

Brethren, as she was speaking I was just sinking lower and lower in my chair until I was almost under it. HAAAAAY!!! See, when I came back and it wasn’t flushing, I lifted the tank cover myself, in other words, I was the one that made the bits fall out, in other other words, NA ME USE MY OWN HAND SPOIL MY TOILET!!!

HAAAAYYYY! I needed to sit in a corner and just think about my life.

So I’m just here right, relating this whole gist to Abba, and then He does one of those “You missed something” coughs. Now last week, almost the exact same thing happened to me, i.e. someone accused me of something I had not even gone near doing. I was hurt, angry and had written the person’s name in my black book in permanent marker.

So I gazed suspiciously upwards and asked “So You’re saying….?”

“So I’m saying it’s very easy to come to the wrong conclusion, especially if it’s something you’re lowkey already worried about, and perhaps you need to take the person that offended you out of your black book because girl you just accused someone else the exact same way”

And then He said “Gotcha!!!”

*takes a minute to side eye Heaven*

Guys Abba set me up o! Shebi I said I was looking for the lesson, toh…there’s my lesson.

I just can’t believe He did me this thing that He did me!

So yeah I’ve forgiven the person…almost…working on it…sigh…

Ok I’ve forgiven, I just need a minute for the vex to go but yeah…forgiven

*side eyes Heaven again*

 

 

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THE ADVENTURES OF MENO AND HER LOO

I’m having a problem with my toilet, and no, toilet is not a metaphor for anything. I’m having a problem with my actual real life toilet.

Let me start this story from the beginning

Actually, first a prologue – I have a gorgeous bathroom, beautifully tiled, large, enough storage…it is perfect.

My perfect bathroom had a not so perfect toilet, the issue – I would flush and water would continue running into the bowl for hours. It was noisy, got on my nerves and wasted water.

So I called a technician and you know that ogbanje thing that happens where, you call someone to fix a problem and then the thing you have the issue with stays stubbornly well behaved. My toilet flushed and stopped with the precision of a soldier on parade.

The plumber looked at it, looked at me and left. 2 seconds later, the water started running again

The problem had subsided though, so instead of running for hours, the water would trickle for 5 minutes and stop. I was ok with it.

However, one day, a plumber was passing my our kitchen door and our housekeeper helpfully suggested that he check out the toilet. I wasn’t as concerned, but I was cooking and distracted, so I said ok. He came back 5 minutes later in a flush of excitement and declared that some part was broken. Suspicious, I went to discover that he had locked the water and somehow stopped the toilet from flushing.

The next day I came back from work to find out that the plumber had, by some previously unknown act of gross inefficiency, completely wrecked my toilet. It now would no longer even flush at all.

I dragged him upstairs and we both stood peering at the toilet. “It doesn’t flush” I told him. “Ah yes” he replied, “but e no dey run for inside bowl again”

I have a bright future ahead of me so I held myself back from drowning him in the (non running) toilet bowl and instructed him to come and repair what he had done. He promptly made himself scarce and only then was I told that he had never seen my type of toilet before and had no idea how to work it.

Friends and loved ones, this was the beginning of my woes and tribulations. I called the first plumber back and for weeks, he would come, try something, it wouldn’t work, he would vanish, I would call, he would assure, show up, try something…ad nauseum.

And then, one day the Holy Spirit whispered to him and gave him a solution and when I came back, (cue hallelujah chorus) I had a toilet that could flush. Guys, do you know what a big deal it is to push a button and have your toilet flush? If you have a flushing toilet please take a minute to give praise, I’ll wait

(One Minute Later)

My life went back to bliss and ease, until this evening, when I came home, tried to flush my toilet and realised that…it was not flushing.

As far as I can deduce, the housekeeper somehow wrecked it (I don’t even know how she could have at this point), called someone to fix it (there are free moving bits where free moving bits should not be), saw it had gotten worse and turned off the water (WHAT IS IT WITH THESE PEOPLE AND TURNING OFF THE WATER?????) and then took off for the weekend. It was too late when I discovered this, so I have to wait till tomorrow (ARGGGHHHH) and then call her to find out what the HECK happened.

I am so frustrated that I cried for 5 minutes before starting this post. Guys see…big issues don’t stress me – I hunker down and go into survival mode. Little issues sha…those glitches in perfectly working (water) systems…ah they pull the rug from under me and leave me without a plan.

I would like to end this by sharing a deep lesson the Lord has taught me from this experience, but alas, there is none. If you have an idea of what the Lord might be trying to tell me through this, please let me know, because I’m out of revelations.

I need you to pray for me though, I have a bright future and I really don’t want to wreck it by getting arrested for drowning a housekeeper in the toilet.

 

 

 

Peace in the Promise

I’m not even going to bother with the apologies again..no point. I nearly decided to leave off with this blog. I just got tired. Like when I finish working, the last thing I want to do is pick up my lappie and start another work…this was becoming work. Which is a problem.

I’m not joking I have like 5 titles to write on, but no energy, no motivation. So I decided to give it a break until today.

And today I am here because…I am grateful…

This time last year, in response to a situation, God told me “No matter how it looks, it will turn out for good”. I got a bit alarmed by the way Abba phrased it, I mean what did He mean by no matter how it looks…I was worried o.

The second half of last year was hard. I’ve blogged about it before I think. It wasn’t fun o. You know when you’re dealing with something undefinable. It’s not – Oh this person said this, or that person did that, or this thing I need is unavailable. It is just life becoming struggle on every single front. I was tired! Spent so many nights questioning God and hearing “You are perfectly in my will” and “Stop trying to escape this process. You must go through it” All those sturvs.  Ah!

I’m sitting here in my house and I am so grateful. Did the situation change? No, not really. But guess what? Somewhere, somehow, without knowing how exactly, God arranged my perspective to see my situation through new eyes. Through frustration and despair, He took away fear and anxiety. You know how you hit rock bottom and you’re like – This is it, I’m done. And then you find, most unexpectedly, peace in the giving up? I found it. Because I found out that the results were not up to me, the answers were not up to me. When I stopped trying so hard to hold on, and I let go, guess what I found? I found out that He was holding onto me, that He wouldn’t let me go.

I had a bit of an accommodation situation this year, needed to move out of a place within a certain period of time, hunted, searched, and then quite randomly got led to a place that is 10 times better than the former place. I wake up each day peaceful, content and excited. This is what He has done, showed me how precisely He governs each detail. How precisely I am led.

Today I was asking Him – All these seeds I’m sowing, will they ever pay off? And I got an assurance in my Spirit – Of course they will. This is a process, just like the past one was. My life is a daily giving, a daily pouring of myself for Him, through my service to other people. And though I am coming to a place where it is becoming less like “doing” and more like a regular way of life, it still made me smile when I said to Him, “I’m ok if You never give me any of the things You say You will, it’s about You, not them” and He sends me to a Scripture that says…let me find it first I’m coming

Aha..Ruth 2:12. In the CEB – May the Lord reward you for your deed. May you receive a rich reward from the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you’ve come to seek refuge

He intends to reward, all that one I was speaking was just grammar.

I’m blessed with daily miracles, big and small. And now I hunger to be a miracle too. To be the vessel through which someone goes back to God to say “Thank You for coming through for me”

I used to wonder why people never gave to me the same way other people testified of receiving. You know how people say “I was just scratching my foot and someone came to me and gave me a new car”. I used to wonder why I never was the recipient of unrequested and unexpected gifts, and then Abba did something –  He took that feeling, and then turned it into a hunger to be the giver instead, of unexpected blessings. I want to be the reason someone testifies, I want to be the channel by which people are blessed.

His hands on earth and that sort of thing.

Anyway…I’m grateful. The situation I was in hasn’t changed, but being in a place where you are totally out of control and the ability to predict what comes next…well it does something to you. It gives you peace. It teaches you faith and trust. Because you are no longer able to influence or push or manipulate. And all you can do is lie there and wait.

There is promise in the waiting. There is peace in the promise.