A little while ago, my stylist sent me an outfit – it was totally gorgeous, I absolutely loved it. The next morning, she called me and in the middle of my effusive thanks for such a great job, her subdued voice broke in; the designer of the outfit had called her in a fit of anger to complain about her giving the dress to me – The designer didn’t want me wearing her dress, I was not a celebrity, she didn’t know me and she only wanted celebs wearing her clothes. My stylist apologised and I apologised back to her for the embarrassment that dulled an otherwise beautiful job.

Did it hurt me…damn right it did. No one wants to feel like they are not good enough for anything. But that’s life isn’t it? The whole experience taught me 3 vital lessons sha:

  1. People are entitled to their choices, whether we like them or not. No matter how much it wants to pain me that said designer would not let anyone below a certain (privately ascertained) celeb status wear her clothes, it was her choice and entitlement and I cannot condemn her for it
  2. Remember the good. I have a number of designers who have been excited to have me wear their clothes. Will I now forget all those wonderful ones because of the one who doesn’t think me worthy? I remember someone complaining once that celebs will ignore millions of positive comments to clap back for the 1 person who gives a negative. It’s human nature I know, and so abeg, I will choose my focus deliberately
  3. Finally, no matter what else people may be to you, remember that they are still people. I work in an industry that treats people like resources – you meet someone and immediately factor out how they can be useful to you. I remember meeting someone who sharply asked for my number. Eager to make a new friend, I gave it to her. Then I started to notice that every time she called, no matter how randomly the conversation started, it would always circle back to my office and opportunities available. After the 4th time, I stopped being so available. A few weeks later, I met someone who could potentially be influential to my career, immediately I started planning ways to build the relationship. Na him Holy Spirit just tap me for shoulder come give me side eye, and I realised I was about to do the same thing I had gotten irritated at another for doing. Bottom line sha, people are people – not resources, not platforms, not networks…they are people first.

In conclusion, I am not upset anymore about the designer. I will just carry the lessons I have learned and go my way.

Have a fantastic day my people

16 responses to “NOT GOOD ENOUGH

  1. Sigh.
    I read your stuff each time and I’m thankful for all the lessons you share and how you’re able to tease them out regardless of the situation. That’s something I daily aspire to.
    And yes, we will not beef or harbour any form of resentment for this person who doesn’t regard you as a celebrity because that’s them living in their own bubble.
    There’s a host of us out here who regard and esteem you highly. And one designer holding a contrary opinion is not enough to change that in anyway.
    You are loved and admired greatly!

  2. Arit you are a star!!! I was really hurt reading this post, but since you have put it behind you, i forgive the person too lol.

    I have been praying for the day you will wear adress made by me (when I finish from fashion school hehehe)

    Keep inspiring, keep shining 🙂 love you!

  3. I’m angry. Haba! Ehn yes, lovely lessons and you’re no longer upset. But… SHE IS MAD, AND I’M HERE TO TELL HER. I hope she sees this. Dherty.

  4. Kai. This hurt me. But I just love your attitude to it, I just love your attitude to everything actually, life and all. So mature always.

    Babe forget Na she go Find you.
    The Sky is your Stepping stone 💪🏾

  5. Didi! You ARE a celebrity! “madam ‘designer'” is just blind for now…her eyes will soon open! Keep your head high and keep moving forward..(I prophesy 😀) she will soon tender her apologies.

  6. People’s misconstrued idea of ‘celebrity’ differ. You’re one of my favorite TV’Gals’. . . I’m glad you found and shared lessons in that encounter.

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