MUSINGS THE NIGHT BEFORE…

Well my bags are packed and I’m ready to go…

I swear I thought I was ready. But sitting here, looking around my almost empty room, I have a few minutes where I am suddenly sure I don’t want to leave after all. Lol. That’s what family and home and love does to you.

But I’m set, packed and ready, looking forward to the next stage in the whirly, wonderful adventure that is my life. By the time you read this, I’ll be safe in Calabar, ready to start my new career as a Producer/Presenter with Ebony Life TV. For someone who tends to hide when its time to take a picture, its amazing how God has placed me in a career where millions of people will see my face every day.

Sitting with my mum this evening, she looks at me and says the same words she has always said whenever one of her children is leaving home “If you don’t like it there, you know where home is, no one will judge or criticize you, just come back home”. Eternal assurance of a place to come back to, a place where you are always welcome.  And because I know I will have a safe landing if I ever choose to hang up these wings, I know that I will not only fly, I will soar. For a second I have a picture of me in the sky, laughing as i twirl and dive and climb, saying “Look at me Mama, I’m flying!”

In a minute I’ll go stand on my balcony, look at the bit of Abuja laid out to my view and appreciate this most enjoyable of vistas. Then I’ll walk round my house and cover it one more time with my prayers and my blessings. I think back to the girl who arrived Abuja again in December 2010, so much has happened in the almost 3 years since…what will the next 1, 2, 3 years bring?

I can’t wait.

My brother has just come up, he’s not the emotional sort, so we hug, he ruffles my hair, we remind each other to take care…my throat has just closed up with the amount of love I have for these people…God has blessed me with many things, but by far the biggest blessing is my family…these awesome people who love me, who celebrate my difference and laugh at my quirks…these ones who love me unconditionally.

Keep them for me Abba…

I’m excited, curious, peaceful, happy…you know what I’m not? Scared. No fear…how can I be scared when I’m led?

I remember the night before I left for Zamfara, I was so scared, not sure I should go, not sure I could do it, He gave me this verse,Genesis 28:15:  Behold I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land, for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you.

Peace…the cessation of the storm, the knowledge that there is a path.

NYSC in Zamfara was one of the most amazing times of my life…

I’m starting a new blog in addition to this one: http://rediscoveringcalabar.wordpress.com/. It will be devoted to my experiences of Calabar – places I go, people I meet, things I do…I just got a new camera, so I will be taking lots of pictures and will be putting them up. It would be great to have you be a part of my adventure. I’ll put up a post every week. It’ll be fun.

I don’t do long goodbyes, so I have shared them up over the last week, spending time with one and then the other of some of the people I am closest to, basking in the warmth of friendship and family.

Many times I find myself asking how it is that I am so blessed – to have the people and experiences that I have and have had in my life. I come to the same answer every single time…it’s grace. Grace that I do not understand but which I am nonetheless very grateful for.

Have a wonderful night dear friends, I have a balcony to stand on and a house to bless…

Good night