We have a kindly neighbourhood cd shop that believes in advertising its wares as loudly as possible and one day, dude was playing Wizkid’s newest song – “I fit die ontop your matter”

I was still laughing to myself about the sheer drama in that one sentence when I encountered a young acquaintance who looked somewhat distressed. Upon enquiry, it seemed that a relationship that he had invested quite a lot emotionally in, had ended, when he discovered that the young lady for whom he had invested was not as invested in him.

I promised him that pretty soon, he would thank God for this heartbreak, especially when he eventually met someone who had as much to give as he does. Then it got me thinking…isn’t it a marvel that so many of our heartbreaks happen when we are young enough and oblivious enough to bounce back in months, no matter how “crushed” we believe we are? We weep and sob and declare that we will never love again, and then 3 months later we’re writing someone else’s name in a heart filled with badly drawn flowers.

And isn’t it a marvel that our heartbreaks point out an area of our life that needs working on – or an area we need to watch? The playboy that taught you that there was something wrong with your type, that quiet girl you let go who helped you see that there is more to beauty than a made up face, the one that always castigated and taught you to stand up for yourself, the damaged one who taught you that you cannot fix everyone.

It got me marvelling again at God’s wisdom, that He will often allow circumstances that will allow that relationship crack enough to show wounds that need healing, or even more, a rotten core. Of course sometimes He allows cracks to let us see the diamond hidden in the roughness of a personality or appearance.

I remember when love and all its associated wahala was the cause of many sleepless nights – sleepless either due to happiness or sadness. I remember the time when I started learning to balance logic and emotion to act in wisdom in my relationships. I smile at the wisdom that I have gained. I know that my young friend will be fine…and that one day, he will meet someone who will make all his heartbreaks seem worth it, when he realises that his cracked and repaired heart is made perfectly for hers. And unlike Wizkid, when he finds this woman, he will know that there will be zero need to die ontop her matter.



  1. Lol Arit! I just decided to check your blog this morning and voila… So many new posts ooo. Yes o, na mainly worldly and young people who have not gotten much experience of Godly wisdom at work or/and who do not even have many positive relationship models/mentors that will be singing (in a worldly way o), ‘I fit die on top of your matter’.
    Thanks Arit for writing with an inner wisdom. Meanwhyl you always look so beautiful, cool, calm, poised on the daily EL Reports. Great stuff by the way… Excellent investigative reporting! Hugs and peace +++

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