There are times when I am so perfectly aligned with my world that it almost seems like I am in a bubble of complete Zen. I had one of those mornings recently; which was very good. Considering the fact that I woke up rather suddenly from a dream where I was being threatened by a bubble of silvery, aggressive ectoplasmy stuff; that’s what you get from eating a shawarma at 11pm at night.
Anyway I woke up very content…but puzzled. It has occurred to me rather abruptly that I am now hoarding food. Ok not food per se, but protein. As I type, in my freezer, I have beef – marinated and non marinated strips, pieces, minced and raw meatballs. I have chicken – marinated pieces and wings. I have kidney, 3 types of fish, shrimp and some rather random pieces of goatmeat. Yet I had to catch myself from scuttling out of my house this morning to buy shaki and liver from the market nearby…I’m not sure what is going on. Usually, when I crave food, it’s because I’m lacking something. But I don’t want to eat the meat, I just want to keep it in my freezer.
Ok what else…aha…one day, in that manner that people do when the Holy Spirit needs someone to be told something, my friend Ijeoma called me out of the blue one day, to share with me a book she was reading about love languages. It detailed how we perceive God in the manner of our love languages. It was like a light bulb moment, especially coming at a time when I was feeling a little alone. My love language is Acts of Service; nothing makes my day more than a thoughtful act done for me. Leave all the flowery words and all. So I started to look for God in the blessings around me and guys, it was like my eyes opened to a whole new spectrum of colours; little things that would come my way that were so tiny that only Someone devoted to my joy would do.
Like the day I threw all my clothes out of my wardrobe (as I tend to do) and then realised I couldn’t find my belt (a tiny strip, really difficult to find). I gave one hopeful toss of the clothes; just to see if I could unearth it, and out sails my belt; as if my Abba’s hand had flung it out.
Or the time I changed my lens solution and kept on putting the right eye lens in the left eye case. For those of you who don’t wear contacts, one case cover is always differently coloured; for those who have different prescriptions. This meant that every morning, I would spend a good amount of time putting on the wrong lens, wandering around in a literal haze of confusion and then realising my error and changing them back. One day, I was about to make the same mistake when the lens case flipped out of my hand, literally like someone had knocked it out. Absentmindedly I tried again and the cover flipped out of my hand once again. Of course that caught my attention and I realised my mistake.
It’s little things – favour I receive unexpectedly, walking into a shop and seeing something I’ve been looking for, needing to wash my hair and walking to the market to find the very last ball of black soap just waiting for me…my Abba shows His love for me in the ways He knows I will see it best and consistently reaffirms His undying love for me. It’s beautiful.
I’ve heard people tell me how it felt like God has literally reached out and hugged them, or how they read a scripture and a promise jumps out at them. There are people who are constantly receiving one gift or another from random strangers and some who can get lost in communion for hours. Looking at it objectively, I marvel how I always felt that the people outlined above had a relationship with Him that I didn’t, but no, I think now that all He does is express love to each person as they perceive it best, in the way that they need to see it to feel it most.
Do you know, one of my fave songs, as random and “unchristian” as this may seem, is Wizkid’s Jaiye Jaiye. It makes me smile to think of how he looks at all the things he can now do and afford and acknowledges how far God has brought him. It’s a song of celebration and thanksgiving…to me. I think of things like that often. Of how far God has brought me, of doors opened that I never imagined I could see open, of blessings and a way of life that I thought I’d have to work much harder to acquire, of enabling grace that shows me things that in all reality I should not know…guys, God has blessed me…can’t say it enough, don’t ever want to get to where I think that the good things I get are normal or my due. They aren’t; it is His grace and favour that is responsible for it all. And I am grateful.