Ermm…this is the part 2 of the Part 1 that I posted last week. It has been a hectic couple of days – I’m working all through this week and it seems that there are 5 million things to do and 5 million people to see before I finally leave for Cally…but I thank God for the grace to go through all this with a smile on my face…all na Him.
So, last week, after I had put up my post, I got hit again by the utter certainty that I was making a mistake. All I could think of was all the plans I had made – I mean, I had a 25 year career plan. I started biting my nails and wringing my hands and then God whispers to my spirit – “This is an attack” As that thought entered, I began to remind myself of God’s assurances ad faithfulness, and the storm ebbed. But guess what, that wasn’t the end of it, later that night, 3am, Abba kept me up and so I was playing music, singing absent-mindedly to Him and just chilling, then – God by Donald Lawrence and the Tricity Singers came on. They sang this line “Whatever You do with me, it’s alright, You have my total trust” and guys, I realised that I was still holding on to MY plans, MY dreams, as if He did not give them to me. That was the door that the devil kept using to slip fear and unbelief into my spirit. And so I released them to Him, asked Him to take them back, I re-surrendered to His will for me and that was it…everything zapped. for good…I almost literally felt fear and doubt leave my body.
I’m grateful for a Father that instructs and teaches, one who guides me so lovingly with His all-seeing eye. One who searches my spirit, who digs deep and finds the roots of every issue…
Now, what are some other things I learned from this – Well, sometimes people will see something in you before you do. Almost everyone I have told about this job has said to me, “That would suit you so well. It’s so totally you” which always comes as a surprise, because I didn’t see it coming. I’m grateful for people who see more in me than I see in myself – God uses them as a mirror to help me see myself as He sees me. It’s awesome.
I also had to deal with the other side. Someone looking at me and doubting that the job would last, people who went quiet and changed the subject, people who acted like it was no big deal and nothing to celebrate…I heard and saw all. I won’t deny that it smarted, but it opened my eyes to some people in my life and the level of access I have allowed them.
Finally sha, I am grateful to God for everything that this month has brought my way, all things are truly working out for my good and I am blessed and highly favoured, anointed for great things, ready to take over this new territory. I’ve put one application for testimony before God, asking Him for something that can only be from Him…I look forward to sharing that too.
In the meanwhile, I wish you all a great rest of the week and God’s abundant blessings