So last week…or some weeks ago, I went for karaoke. I sucked. Big time. Now, I’m a church singer…soprano…able to sing on f-sharp without making you feel like a Concorde is taking off by your ear. But something about karaoke, maybe it’s the key or the feeling of people just waiting for you to screw up so that they can laugh at you…something about karaoke sha turns my melodious soprano into a wailing, whining nasal sound that is just really…not it.
But I sang anyway. Because I’m really working on this living out loud thing…living life to the fullest and taking advantage of every moment…not being afraid to make a fool of myself and all.
You see, I hate public attention. Hate being looked at by a crowd, hate looking or sounding foolish. So I rarely do anything without calculating its resultant effect…which means I miss out on doing a lot of the silly stuff that makes up life’s best minutes. I avoid crowd situations, places where my errors are out there in the public face…where I can’t quietly fix them without notice.
Anyway, now that I’ve decided to start living out loud, I’ve decided that I will take every opportunity offered…do everything I can…at the least, it would be a fun memory…at the most, I might experience one of those moments that totally change your life.
Which was why I went for the Finix Open floor Uncensored event last night. I planned to just go and listen to Treadstone and chill, but when I mentioned it to a friend of mine, she warned me to better read something or I would be in trouble with her…I think there was even mention of grievous bodily harm. So I did. I stood up in front of a crowd and for the first time in my life I read my stuff in front of a crowd. And I didn’t suck. People clapped, came up to say well done…and…it was awesome.
And that is what living out loud for me is. Taking the chances, creating the shading that makes life more colourful, the moments that you will look back on with a smile. I want to live out loud in love and work and life. So many of us are hesitant, we’re reluctant to let go and enjoy the moments, because…what if they end, what if something goes wrong? We want it to be perfect, or we don’t have time, or it’s not what we usually do. Well, if something does go wrong, at least you’ll have the memory of the awesome time you had, and that will make it all right….or better at least.
I’m going for karaoke again today…hopefully a different type of song might make me sound almost bearable…Beyonce’s Halo probably wasn’t the best choice now that I think of it, after all, we all know that bathroom acoustics are the best there are…but even if I still suck, meyne, I’m still going to have fun!