I had an epiphany on Saturday –this is nothing new, I tend to have epiphanies every other day, but this was a special kind of epiphany.
I’ve had some pretty hectic deadlines to meet this month – nothing I couldn’t handle but stressful nonetheless. I was doing my best, smiling serenely on the surface, paddling furiously underneath, coping, or so I thought.
Fast forward to Saturday last week, I’d woken up feeling beat down and beleaguered. No be small thing o! As the evening wore on, I became progressively more tired, developed a fever and started veering dangerously towards depression. I felt like a failure and spent some time morosely declaiming to my sister on the many trials that I seemed to be undergoing.
In the middle of my melancholy ramblings, it occurred to me that I might simply just be more tired than I thought. Let me explain why this was odd –I don’t believe in tiredness. As far as I’m concerned, a good night of sleep should be enough for anyone, irrespective of your schedule. I don’t know where I got this warped sense of thinking from, but I didn’t realise how much a part of me it was until last Saturday. Somewhere along the line, I had gained a belief that rest = laziness and my mindset was taking me on a sure trip to Fall Apart Land
I talked it over with my mum, spent some more time contemplating the possibility and reluctantly decided to shut down for one more day. I woke up on Sunday morning feeling like someone had given me a joy transfusion in my sleep. I can’t remember when last I had so much energy, it was awesome! I spent the day writing, cleaning up my room (which had degenerated slowly into disorganized chaos), curling up periodically for naps and generally being a lazy bum. It was the best thing i could’ve done for myself.
Isn’t it incredible that while I was puzzling my unusual “laziness” and trying to force myself to do things I didn’t want to do, all I needed was sleep? I mean – as simple as that! It got me to thinking though; maybe the solutions to our problems might not always be as complicated as we think they are. Maybe we’re broke, not because someone has sworn for us, but because we don’t know how to save. Maybe what we need when we’re having trouble coping at work is not a new boss, or different colleagues, but a short holiday. I know I might be oversimplifying but surely it makes some sense? Maybe that chronic tiredness might be an easily rectified vitamin deficiency or even fatigue.
As at Wednesday morning last week, I was snapping at my subordinates and wondering at their sudden incompetence – this week however, they seem to have miraculously developed better work ethics. It shames me to admit it, but it wasn’t completely them, a good part of it was me.
So, there’s my epiphany! I have seen the light – it shone rather brightly into the room and woke me up around midday on Sunday.
Here’s wishing you a wonderful August! Be productive, be happy and most of all, get lots of sleep!