So I’m thinking about seasons. The thoughts have been whirling in my head for a while, and since I write to clarify, pardon me if I drag you along on this short journey to make sense of all I’ve been thinking. Maybe another word to use would be times…like times of life? Let me explain and see if I can make this any clearer; because I’m even confusing myself.
I’ve had a fairly dynamic life. I mean this in the sense that it’s recorded a lot of twists and turns. Things have happened that have changed me or changed my path. Many times I caught the wind so to speak, and was able to adjust my sails. Other times I was a bit slow on the uptake, and so I ended up drifting, or trying to catch up.
In the midst of our days, our work and our planning, life will sometimes throw us a set of circumstances that will dictate that our actions change. That’s what I mean by seasons. Sometimes you lose a job just in time to realise that it now gives you freedom to pursue that hobby you’ve always loved. Sometimes you fail at something so many times that you try something else out of frustration, and you hit pay dirt. You go clubbing every night, until your idiot friend gets into a fight with someone else and you guys are kicked out, the embarrassment keeps you at home long enough to finally start on that business plan that has been looking at you for 2 years. Your boyfriend tells you one day that he’s no longer in love with you, and after crying your heart out, you wipe your eyes one day and meet a guy who swears that you were the one kept on earth for him to find.
The thing is this, so many of us are scared of change. We love the status quo. And so even when changes come, we panic, we cling to the security of the familiar. We refuse to even contemplate the possibility of a new direction. But if you could only take the time to review this new situation, it is usually a signal, a toot of the horn, telling us that it’s time to move on, step up or move out.
I had bad culture shock when I moved to Lagos. From working in an organization where I knew my role and my value, in a town where everything was familiar, I moved to a place with no assurances, a state so huge that it seemed impossible that I would ever learn my way around. I suffered from depression, developed anxiety issues, I was not fun. Then I started to write, mainly as a way to get my head into position. As I wrote, I realised 3 things, that I loved to write, that I actually had some idea of what I was doing, and that my value as a person did not depend on a job designation. So I wrote and wrote and wrote…poetry, short stories, articles…I wrote it all. And now I’m back in Abuja, back in a 9 – 5, but I have brought to this new place all the gifts I gained while I was in that season of uncertainty in Lagos and I have brought them to play in my new way of life, and I am much better for it.
There are seasons that crisscross our daily lives. A job that was fulfilling 6 months ago suddenly starts feeling like an outfit that shrank in the wash. You find yourself looking at someone who used to be your best friend and wondering when you stopped having so much in common. A relationship that used to make you laugh that causes a sigh of weary resignation. Circumstances change, you change, and all of a sudden things that used to be a part of your life slip out of gear and refuse to fit back in. Sometimes you find yourself contemplating things that never used to make sense; you find yourself spending less time with certain friends and spending more time with new friends who have the kind of priorities you’re trying to develop, you get tired of perennially chatting about things that no longer matter and more time working on that proposal that you’d been talking about forever, you suddenly realise how much you love to cook…about the same time you realise how little you like 9 to 5 jobs…seasons.
Seasons I believe, are God’s way of removing or introducing things in your life. They are the changes that might happen when you have achieved a level of growth, or when it is time to look to a new direction. They might indicate when it is time for certain habits to end, or new ones to start. After writing in a journal for 10 years, writing articles for a few magazines, sharing my thoughts with friends and family, I grew to a realization that I could be more organized about my writing, share them on a better platform, so now I blog, one day, I will put together enough material for a book, and become an author, and then who knows what direction my life will take from there.
I used to be scared of change. I used to dread the signs that indicated to me that I was about to lose the familiar, I needed to feel safe. But circumstances have arisen in my life that left me with no choice but to adapt, and as I did, I grew. My seasons have made me grow. Recently I’ve started to feel my winds shifting again, I’m not sure what’s coming next, but I’m already making adjustments, I assure you I will be ready for it, whatever it is, I will take it on and move into yet another place in my life.
I don’t know if I’ve made enough sense of this. I think that basically I’m trying to say that life is meant to change, that’s the only way we grow. So when things seem to change for no reason, when they no longer fit, take a minute, step back and and then…take a deep breath, adjust your sails and change direction.